idk

I'm feeling kinda... weird. On one hand I'm so happy. I met this incredibly cute, nice boy (sorry if I mentioned this before. I can't remember and I'm too lazy to look. :-P) who I like a lot. He even asked me for my number, I didn't have to ask if he wanted it. Unfortunately he has a girlfriend who I think I inevitably broke up. She was jealous that he was talking to me, just because I'm a girl. And like a dumbass I freaked and just think made it worse because I was feeling like it was my fault and made him have to comfort me. But also I was having one of my periodical breakdowns, so I can explain why I was acting that way. But also that night I told my cousin something that made us both cry. I told her back in May when my mom's boyfriend started really bad and started cutting again, that if she hadn't had been there I would have killed myself. I was that depressed. That was a low even for me.
And last night her mom was starting really bad, and she pointed at me and said "I'm sorry I'm not perfect like her!" That made me feel terrible. And as a result, I carved the word "LOVE" into my leg. It's not pretty.
Anyway back to *him*. I like him A LOT. And I just found out that he broke his wrist by punching a wall because his girlfriend dumped him or made him mad or something. But today I was telling how much he means to me. I just don't know what to do.