Boys

Well I finally got the long overdue head examination that I've been trying to get my mom to get for me and my suspicions were correct: I have depression and anxiety problems. So he perscribed me some Lexaprol (and it's MINE, you can't heve it ha). Although I have been feeling better the last few days, except last night when I broke down because I started missing him really bad again. I just wanted him to hold me so bad...
Anyway Saturday I went to my friend Emma's birthday party with Rebecca and it was AWESOME. I got to hang out with this cute boy named Darrin. We talked a lot and hung out a good bit of the time. Like we locked them outside (Darrin and some other boys) and they climbed on this tree house thing and were standing out there and I went out there too after a while and we started talking again. He told me about Lee County schools and they sound so cool (I want to go there next year), then one of the boys left and me, Darrin and this other were laughed and the other boy said "Who wants a hug? Seriously I'm cold." So I was like I do and we started to huddle together when Darrin started pushing in saying "Hold on I'm cold too, let's huddle like penguins!" It was funny. He then said something like "Let's have a threesome." And I was shocked and backed away and the other boy left and as we were about to leave he said "I get the front :)" I was just like"...Seriously?" We then went and sat in this wrecked car to keep warm (me, Darrin, the other boy, and Emma), and when we got in I was next to Darrin and he found this black pillow thing and all of a sudden leaned towards me acting like he was going to kiss me saying "Let's make out." He is so crazy. Then we all talked, and then Emma left, so the three of us kept talking and then the other boy left and it was just me and Darrin. It then got akward. And he told me things he didn't trust to say around anyone else at the party. I felt special. He then left and came back, then we had to get out and go back in. Then we went back outside to the tree house thing with some kids phone and were up there huddled together listening to music. But then we got really cold so we went back in. Darrin then preceded to play this skateboard game on the PS2 that he'd been playing on and off all night (he wasn't that good, he kept dying lol) and I was on the couch behind him like I had been most of the night and after a few minutes turned around and told me to sit in the chair next to him :). Unfortunatly Becca's mom showed up so we had to leave and I went and spent the night there. That was the most fun I've had in a while. And Emma told me Darrin said he thought I was pretty. Yay! Although she also said he had been talking about this other girl -_-" Oh well, whatever happens, happens. But I do get to see him at church Wednesday :).
And Darrin's not the only boy in my life. Bernard has started texting me and he wants to date me. He said he LOVED me. How can he love me and he doesn't even know me? Ugh I don't want to date him but I can't be mean either. I don't know what to do... and he's coming over Saturday. *gulp* I hope this ends well...